Sweeten Your Personality with Polite Speech
-By PK Arya
It costs nothing to be polite, but it definitely gives a lot. Its receivers become rich but the givers do not become poor. It is a relief for tired and ray of light for depressed, sunshine for the one facing cold and nature’s best gift to the sufferer.
“I am highly impressed by you”. This is a sentence which everyone likes to hear and feel honored. Your personality should be so pleasing and attractive that it should impress others, but it can not be achieved if you are not polite and soft spoken. The building of good qualities can only be constructed on the foundation of politeness. An ordinary man can become great if he is polite and if he is deprived of it he can lose respect.
Polite and cultured people are clear to all, such people have a strange magical touch in their conduct and behavior, and miracle in their deeds too. They cast permanent impression on the mind of everybody with their balanced behavior.
Useful and sweet conversation is considered a blessing for speech. A man who dedicates his life for the cause of politeness treads on the path of truth, goodness and beauty, is like a saint.
There is an old saying that—‘if speech is silver than silence is gold’. But in the modern age and fast changing world we have completely forgotten the meaning of this proverb. If we are in social field or we are at work place, we have to communicate with each other. In such situation we should take care of what is right and what is wrong. Many a times we spoil our work by unnecessary dialogue and conversation. We respect badly if we hear any adverse statement or if anyone teases us, we start hot discussion and fight if someone interrupts us. In this way we get involved in a vicious circle.
Think how nice it would be to listen to teasing remarks of someone with a smile and keep ourselves busy in our work. To keep silence is a great art and a smile with silence is greater than that.
In this world there is enough to see and hear along with speaking. But most of us are so fond of talking that we fail to see and hear when we are engaged in talking. A person who can exercise control over his tongue, he alone can make the right use of his eyes and ears. It has been rightly said that after making any wrong statement due to its madness the tongue rests in the mouth but the cheek has to suffer a slap.
A little harsh conversation can result in hot discussion. It is generally observed that bitter and pinching words are the cause of dispute. The battle of Mahabharata is the historical proof of the disaster that Draupadi’s one statement that ‘the son of a blind man is also blind brought’. It is generally believed that the wound caused by an arrow can easily be healed but it is difficult to heal the wound caused by harsh words.
Society gives respect to a person who has control over his speech and everybody wants to converse with a person who is sweet spoken. That is why we should always try and inculcate sweet and soft spoken words in our speech. Generally a person suffers loss due to his uncontrolled speech more than anything else. Here the statement made in Mahabharata is noteworthy—“speech can also shower arrows and the one who receives them lives in constant pain day and night.”
People who always talk about ‘Frankness in speech’ believe that if one does not give strong replies at once he is considered weak an inefficient. These type of people claim themselves to be pure hearted and frank. Psychologists infer such claims to be a sign of Pride. Pinching words can only be spoken if you have ill feeling against someone. Our speech is controlled by our thoughts. People who speak frankly without considering the pros and cons of their speech generally become unpopular and are not liked by anyone.
Anyone who always speaks the slump is disliked by others. If you analyses the things which you do not liked, most of them are those which are considered ordinary and are underestimated. In other words, we should take care of small things and the bigger things will take care of themselves.
Chaster Tan considers these small things as dangerously ordinary’ and if not nipped in the bud, these will result into real troubles.
Sweetly spoken words have their own advantage
in making a great personality. They tolerate the attack caused by bitter words and life becomes happy despite all kinds of troubles. In fact these small sweet behavior is the outcome of feelings of love for others, It establishes this fact that all people want praise and recognition for their good behavior, just as we do.
Bitter and uncontrolled speech is the symbol of foolishness. It can lead to madness. A person who often speaks harsh words often repents when he is in better frame of mind. According to a Persian proverb, “Good has given us who ears and one tongue so that we may listen more and speak less.”
All actions are controlled by tongue or speech.
They originate from speed. So, it is essential that speech is controlled
by mind. A person who is not honest by speech is considered dishonest in
all respects and this will adverse effect on your personality. The man who
has no control over his speech can not be sure if he can exercise any control
over his self while working.
If a working thing is said in good style it also becomes effective. Then if you say a good thing is good way it has no comparison. Sant Kabir has said—“Speak in such a way that it may delight you and others as well”
To make your personality sweeten, remember when we have wisdom and the willingness to cast aside our own lower nature and align ourselves with our whole heart to the higher power, we find a sense of peace. This creates an atmosphere which influences every one who comes in contact with us. A person who has a peaceful heart, who is quite and self-controlled, cannot fail to radiate quietness and power which every one feels. We cannot be in contact with something that radiates blessing without conveying it to others, it never fails us. A high point of contact will redeem us and bless others.