Strengthening the pelvic muscles : kegel Exercise
By Al Sears, MD
If women can have incredible, earth-shaking orgasms, why can't men? Do you ever wonder if it's really true that women have more fun with their orgasms than the other sex does? Imagine the average guy trying to pull off that scene in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan simulates for a restaurant full of envious observers the high intensity, full-body climax any man would envy. The punch line there is the patron (another woman, as it happens) saying, "I'll have what she's having." Well, as it happens, a man can have it, too.
Mind-rocking orgasms come easily to healthy teenage males, and then, as time goes on, men sometimes feel they've lost their edge. What used to fire like a ballistic missile now, at times, seems more like a water pistol. But this is one pleasure that doesn't have to decline with age. On the contrary, it can gel better. As you mature, you can learn a few simple techniques for controlling what happens - and how great it feels in ways your adolescent self never imagined.
First, keep in mind that when you're ejaculating, you're not necessarily having an orgasm. They're really two different experiences. Ejaculation is local; orgasm is global, encompassing your entire body.
Ejaculation is just one response to what your entire body is experiencing. It is just the physical expulsion of fluid. It begins when ducts in the genital organs contract and squeeze their contents - the mixture of sperm and other fluids that make up semen - into the urethra. Then muscles at the base of the pen.s contract, forcing the fluid down the urethra and out the pen.is.
An orgasm is something else. It's the peak feeling that involves all of the above plus many other parts of the body contracting and releasing. During sexual arousal, muscles tense all over. Not just in your crotch. Your breathing rate, heart beat and blood pressure rise. Blood collects in the penis, causing an erection, and may also swell your lips, earlobes and nipples (yes, even your breasts can become erogenous zones) and make your face flush.
When a man can let that tension build to higher and higher peaks before releasing it, he improves his chances that his whole body will experience the orgasm. He'll feel involuntary contractions - spasms, actually - all over: toes, fingers, stomach, hack muscles. He'll thrash and make noise. Sheets will snap off the mattress. If you imagine the classic female orgasm, you've got the picture for a man.
The key to having these whole body orgasms is to delay ejaculation. That means constantly approaching, then hacking away front, ejaculation. By relaxing each time as you near the point of no return, eventually your orgasmic threshold gets higher. Until finally, on that last glorious homestretch, you get the kind of rocket-power orgasm that re-aligns planets. Think of it as orgasm surfing, riding the waves of sexual tension all the way to shore.
Below, we layout the general approach. Give it a try, and you may be in for quite a surprise (and so will your neighbours).
First, focus on your breathing: In the heat of passion, this is the last thing you probably want to be thinking about. But, surprisingly, changing your breathing pattern can help increase an orgasm's impact. By training the diaphragm, the muscular partition that separates the chest and abdominal cavity, you can really increase the intensity of your orgasm. Like sex, this exercise involves a bit of huffing and puffing. Here's how it goes:
Puff out through your mouth, huff-huff-huff-huff, concentrating on bringing out each breath up from your belly, so you feel your diaphragm contracting to force the air out. Start with a couple of sets of four huffing breaths (or one set if you feel dizzy from hyperventilating), three or four times a day. After a week, experiment with increasing the number of breaths per set gradually until you're doing 10 huffs. Then, during sex, as you feel an orgasm approach, by breathing more strongly and consciously than usual and forcing each breath out from the diaphragm, you'll increase the tension through your whole abdomen and upper body, raising the intensity of the experience.
Then get in a little practice: You can delay ejaculation and thereby increase the intensity of your orgasms by strengthening the pelvic muscles around the base of the penis. You can do this by practicing Kegel exercises, named for the man who invented them. These are the muscles you'd squeeze to avoid urinating. Originally used to help women with continence problems, these exercises can also help men stave off ejaculation and make it more powerful. Start by squeezing and releasing the muscles 15 times a day, twice each day. Don't hold the contraction; just squeeze and let go. You can do the exercise anywhere: while driving a car, watching TV, during a meeting. (Just don't announce it to everybody, okay?) Gradually increase the number of squeezes until you're doing about 75, two times a day.
Lose the distractions: At the beginning of arousal, you'll need to be in a reasonably relaxed state to get the sexual tension rolling. Often the reasons for lackluster orgasms have little to do with our bodies. We have 10 times more demands on our attention than we did when we were younger, and that makes it hard to keep the focus on pure sexual excitement. And this isn't just for the sake of" mood. Cutting out distractions helps you relax, and that helps your erection along by widening the arteries of the penis so blood flows in freely to swell the tissues. Soft music, a little fantasizing and some serious foreplay all help get the world out of your head and a locked door doesn’t hurt, either.
Get in position: Reverse the conventional sex position - turn over on your back, under the woman, so you can relax without having to support your weight. Because sexual arousal itself builds plenty of tension, the more you add to it in the early stage by tensing your muscles to maintain a position, the less control you have over your ejaculation and orgasm. This position also allows you to use a technique that helps many men prolong the build-up before ejaculation. It's called vaginal containment. "The woman straddles the man or lies on top, with his penis inside her, and the man doesn’t move at all; he just concentrates on enjoying the sensation of containment without the extra rush of friction. Of course, you don't want that to go on forever.
Then let yourself go: When you feel it's time for the final approach, you can ensure an ecstatic orgasm by moving from a relaxed position to one that gives you ample possibilities for tension and movement. You can roll over to the standard missionary position, using your upper body muscles for support and your pelvic muscles to thrust. Or, better, move to what one sex counsellor calls the "aboriginal" intercourse position. Sit up on your knees with your legs apart and lean back slightly with your heels under your butt. Have the woman scoot up so she's sitting on your thighs, facing you. You're inside her; you can see each other clearly. You can now move freely to increase the amount of tension in your groin and elsewhere. Now that you've reached the stage of inevitability, you reverse your tactics. You quit relaxing. You thrust, you move, you breathe hard and deeply, you abandon yourself completely.
By alternately building up tension and relaxing to maintaining control, you create a situation for a truly ecstatic earth-shaking orgasm. And when it's over, lie back and relax. Later, perhaps the next day, try to fix any broken furniture.